Recently I read the blog from one of my writing friends Christina Berry about Tina Helmuth, a writer of historical fiction, who offers to do a critique of anyone's writing. I decided to submit the first chapter of my first novel Sacrificial Lie. You can see the critique as I received it back from Tina on her blog. I am truly impressed with how Tina kept my voice in my writing, yet with a fresh look at my writing, focused on an area to speed the pace of my writing--trim out the fat. I asked Tina to go ahead and publish the entire critique on her blog so others can see how she does such a wonderful job. Head on over to her blog site The Ink's Not Dry and check it out. And tell her Ernie sent you.
5 comments:
Hi Ernie,
I read Tina's changes at the bottom of her critique and I'm very impressed. Excellent changes. If I can be so bold, I would recommend two more.
1) I think the word "about" should be deleted in the sentence regarding the baseball books. I think it is left from a deleted sentence.
2) The other change is regarding the sentence, “I can’t talk much longer.” I think this is only the second sentence spoken by the mysterious caller, so it doesn't make sense to me. They haven't talked at all, so it can't be "much longer." Maybe change to, "I can't talk long." Or "I can't talk now." I think either of those would work better.
Otherwise, I LOVE the re-write. Very intriguing! Keep up the good writing. Blessings, Tammy
Hi Ernie,
I happened by Tina's blog and saw her critique of Sacrificial Lie there. She does an amazing job!
See you next week ...
Thanks for sending it in. We've got to get other people to submit their work to Tina by doing just what you just did--blogging about it and talking it up!
I agree, Christina. And because of you and Ernie, I went ahead and sent her mine. Later I will put an advertisement on my blog referring folks over to her. What an awesome service Tina does. It is fun to read the works of others and Tina's corrections. Very educational. Thanks, Ms. Berry, for starting us off.
Ernie,
1) Time for a new post.
2) Thanks for sending me the pic from OCW.
3) I posted it on my blog. Good photo.
Thanks, Tammy
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